I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
