i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
