I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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