My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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