Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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