You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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