i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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