it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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