Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
