Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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