Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
