We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
