He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
