I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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