Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
