You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
