Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
now i know why i became what i already was.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
