Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is it because I queefed?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize