I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
