I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
