question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
