I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Princesses don't give blow jobs
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
