she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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