Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
you made out with another girl for some wings
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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