His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
