whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
