just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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