why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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