She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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