If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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