My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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