Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
