you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
