Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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