i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
