also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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