at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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