Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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