Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
