i don't like sucking hair
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
