Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
