It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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