Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I bet he comes in French.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
