Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
