Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize