he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
