Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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