They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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