Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It was confusing and full of hummus
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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