I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize