office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
