So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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