ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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