Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
