He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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