I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just puked most of my soul out..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
