My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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