He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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