If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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