No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
