I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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