I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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