Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
